What does it mean when a guy forces his gambling problem on you?
Morgan R asked:
He’s a gambling addict, i fought with him a couple of times to stop poker but he never listens, he stops talking to me then he feels guilty back about it and starts talking to me again, but never stops poker. He knows it bothers me and whenever i ask him wts he doin, he says poker. Now he invited me on facebook to play poker with him. Why is he acting like this with me? What do i do to make him stop? Or at least, make him play less. Im so worried about him.
Marjorie
He’s a gambling addict, i fought with him a couple of times to stop poker but he never listens, he stops talking to me then he feels guilty back about it and starts talking to me again, but never stops poker. He knows it bothers me and whenever i ask him wts he doin, he says poker. Now he invited me on facebook to play poker with him. Why is he acting like this with me? What do i do to make him stop? Or at least, make him play less. Im so worried about him.
Marjorie
Tags: Addict, Gambling Problem, Poker
April 1st, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Cbf Answering lol nothing personal
April 4th, 2009 at 1:21 am
just tell him again and then stop worrying about it
April 6th, 2009 at 11:37 am
because he’s an addict and since you’re in his life it would be easier for him if you were addicted to gambling too. or at least if you didn’t give him trouble about it.. because like any addiction, that’s what happens..
google gambling addiction
April 8th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
You can’t control his gambling addiction. Nothing you say or do will change him. Cut your losses, as it were, and move on.
April 10th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
You can’t make him stop.
The end.
He is inviting you along to try to invite you into a big part of his life. But if you can’t stand it, try to go to a support group for yourself on how to deal with someone who has an addiction. These kinds of groups don’t tell you how to change them, but help you find your limit and how to not be codependent or enable them.
April 13th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
It means that he’s got problems worse than you can solve. If he is your husband, push him to see a counselor with you. If he is just a guy friend or a boyfriend it is time to find someone else.
You can’t change someone else’s addiction. You can simply choose whether or not you want to be close enough to them to have to deal with the fall out.
April 16th, 2009 at 2:32 am
Grow a spine and dump him, You cant help an addict- they have to help themselves and you deserve better. Do you really want to date a moron who puts gambling over you?
April 17th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
It’s just like drugs to some people. I would get as far away from him as possible.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:06 am
Gamblers Anonymous. They are there not only for gamblers but for the members of their families that are affected by their gambling.
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 am
He is selfish and does not care about your needs. He has a serious problem and requires professional help. Get away from him and his problem or it will be your problem too!!
April 26th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
if your married it’s a pronlem if you’re only gf and bf break up with him.
If he stop talking to ya just because you ask him to stop and invites you for poker on facebook….. =/
April 26th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
he’s gonna start asking you for money soon
April 27th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Excessive gambling is an addiction and like a drug addiction its a hard habit to kick. Try to get him to go to Gambling Anonymous or take him to a doctor to help him. In the end though if he is not willing to change himself you need to give him a choice. In one hand his precious poker in the other you.
April 29th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Sorry Morgan, gambling is an addictive behavior. You can learn about addictive behaviors in general by reading ‘I’ll Quit Tomorrow’ by Vernon Wells, MD, which is probably the easiest book that explains it.
If you want to help him, either put together an intervention via his friends, relatives, and a good counselor or drop him and tell him it is because he has a gambling problem.
Usually addicts have to hit some sort of ‘bottom’ before they surrender and get help, and losing you might do it for him. Or not.
Anyway, if you stay around, anyone who lives with or loves an addict also is subject to another disease called co-dependency.
So set up an intervention and see how that works. Or drop him for your health and, we hope, for his as well.
May 1st, 2009 at 3:42 am
NO ONE can FORCE anything on you. YOU always have the capability of refusing.
Which is what you ned to do now. Stop fighting. Tell him that there will be NO gambling, or you will leave him. And the next time it happens — leave him.
Gambling is a serious problem. Like smoking, drugs, and porno, it IS addictive. But if you two ever got married, then his addiction takes away the family income.
First, you don’t have enough money for food or gasoline. Next, they are repossessing your car. Finally, your house is up for foreclosure, or your being evicted from your apartment. And all the time HE is saying, “just one more time, Honey. This time I’ll hit it B-I-G!” But it neve happens.
But your boyfriend canNOT force this on you — you have to accept his problem and excuses. When YOU stop accepting it, either he will stop or he will be gone.
So you need to “grow a pair” and tell him exactly what is going to happen the next time you find him gambling, and then you need to “make it stick”. A Zero Tolerance policy — NO more gambling.
You should also look up Gamblers Anonymous, either on-line or in the phone book. If your state has a lottery system, they may also have gambling addiction information that may prove helpful.
May 2nd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
you asking him to stop will not work if it as serious as you make it sound, if it is hurting you financially you need to get away and move on and let him deal with his own issues, don’t start gambling if your not comfortable with it, gambling is a serious addiction and i have seen it first hand ruin some peoples lives, so if you feel that you don’t want to deal with it run away don’t walk